Having felt strongly for some time now that I've "gotten all the blogging" out of my system (as any of you who find my lack of Facebookery appalling should know) this isn't something that comes naturally to me anymore. I used to revel in what I considered in my foolish youth to be "cryptic transparency"... encrypting what I felt were my deepest thoughts into sentences meaningless to those without the key (as I often was). At least now I better know my foolishness.
I think the reason I've done this less over the years is that I've come to find the real world to be complex enough on it's own merit. It stands to gain nothing from obfuscation.
As the wedding draws nearer I find myself thinking more frequently (and with ever increasing fondness) of the days that must follow it. As incredible a day as it is sure to be, and as much work and effort as is being invested in it (the vast bulk of it by Ri, it seems - I should do more) I can't imagine it being anything less than the day we're dreaming of.
But for me, this close to it, I realize the dream doesn't just end there. Now I'm old enough to know that marriage isn't all sunshine and roses. All growth needs rain, and all things move in circles. It's going to take more work, more sacrifice, more effort than anything else we've ever done, could ever do without each-other. But that's the beauty of it, at least in part. In some way, all the work and preparation that goes into this one day that marks the change, is a metaphor for what it takes to really make it work. There's challenge in it, compromise, disappointments at times, we've seen that. And there is joy.
There is such joy.
It takes a dedicated balance to achieve, this joy. Moreso than any other human endeavor. And the duty continues to unfold before our feet... "The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began". It's a work that began long before we fully realized it, and where it will lead us, I am eager to follow.
--J.
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